She's Gone

12.12.12 was the day I lost my much beloved Grandma, one very important figure in my life. She was 97. She passed away in her sleep after battling with her weakened old body for much too long. She died of natural causes, they say.

I thought I could be with her forever for she's been relatively healthy for almost one century. Truth is, nobody lives forever.

I regret I was not by her side on her last days with us. I regret Naomi didn't have the chance to meet her great-grandmother.

29 April 2012: The very last photo of my Grandma I took during my last visit to Indonesia.

No perfect words could describe how I miss her now. I miss hearing her voice. I miss her sweet smile. I miss her smell. I miss holding her frail arms to help her walk or climb the steps. I miss sharing my freshly baked home-made cakes or cookies with her. I miss having small talks or just simple conversations with her like "Have you eaten? What did you eat just now?". I even miss just looking at her, for no reason.

Realizing that I won't be able to see her again whenever I come home to Indonesia is really painful.

However, I guess it's time to let go as she is surely in a better place now - together with her son, my late uncle whom she'd missed so very much.

Now, I wish nothing but the best for her, wherever she is.

Losing two close family members in less than two months time is indeed not easy to cope with.

P/S: Emak, why did you have to go so soon? Don't you know I still want to buy you a big jar of Regal Marie Biscuits, a pack of Vanilla Gold Roast Cereal Mix, a box of Genji Strawberry Pie, some mochi and dried fruits. All of them are your favourites...