14 December 2012: My baby and I.
The
following describes my life now.
Routine
Every
morning, day and night, I pretty much do the exact same things. It is just that
the hours, the minutes and the seconds that I do those repeat activities
everyday are not exactly the same. I wake up in the morning when my baby wakes
up. Whenever she makes noises in early morning; I hastily jump out of my bed, lift
her up from her baby cot and put her near to my chest. With my eyes half opened, I breastfeed her to mark
her brand new day. Then my daily routines would be followed with changing her
diaper, rocking my baby to sleep again, taking a shower, feeding her, cleaning
her bottles, bathing her, eating my breakfast, playing with her, trying to make
her take her nap, doing my laundry, cleaning the house, feeding her again,
eating lunch, carrying my baby and so on until about 12 midnight when my baby
turns to bed. When the next morning breaks, I do the above again. Boring?
How about
the husband? On weekdays, he has to help himself for breakfast, or sometimes
even prepares one for his wife too before leaving for work. I seldom cook lunch
and dinner because my kind Mother-in-Law (MIL), fortunately, is willing to cook
extra food for my husband and me.
Busy
The SAHM
job is just never ending. I barely sleep
or rest until midnight. Since my baby is a light sleeper, she sleeps very
little during the day so I have to quickly complete my house chores or do my
own things like blogging when she takes her nap. By the time I am done with the
house chores or probably finished with one blog post and plan to take nap when
baby is still napping – usually she wakes up!
Really, I can’t
accept the “Oh that woman stays at home
and probably doesn’t do anything all day long” line that people punch on SAHMs.
It is rude and baseless.
Tired
Being a
SAHM is tiring too. Don’t you think so? I hardly get a short decent break that
I need.
In the
beginning, there were times when I felt like stopping random people I met in
the street, mall or restaurants and asked them if they could work in my house,
even for a couple of hours. “Please somebody
help me so I can catch up with my sleep!” It was evident that sleep
deprivation had its effects on my brain. However, after two months’ time, life
as a Mom with a newborn gets better because the baby’s schedules are more
predictable so it is easier for the two of us to get along.
Another
instance, when I am so down with cruel flu bugs like this very moment,
I cannot rest well. Nobody can take the turn with me in taking care of my baby so
I can rest my body – MIL happens to be not available, husband is in the office,
my own parents are in Indonesia, no domestic helper around. In short, I have to
survive on my own. Can you get the picture on how hard it is to function like
normal after swallowing those flu meds containing sedatives?
In times
like this, I do envy my husband. When he’s sick, he can take MC from his work
and rest at home for the whole day. How about me? Can I take MC too and sleep
the whole day so my body could recuperate? What will happen to our house and
baby if I rest on my bed for the whole day? Mommy just can’t fall sick.
On
weekends, luckily the husband is more involved with looking after the baby and doing some household works too so
at least I can have few hours for myself. Can’t complain.
Happy
The
decision in raising my own baby right since her birthday was right for me. I
have no regret on this. Some relatives might look down on me because I am
jobless and choose to stay at home just to be with my baby. Amazingly, I don’t
bother about their two-cents anymore and my chest is so full of pride because I
am always there to ensure my baby’s well-being. I don’t mother my baby on
weekend basis and I don’t miss her milestones. Whenever my baby hits her
fantastic development milestones, I get to know first and see it with my own
eyes. I don’t need somebody else reports to me saying that “Hey, guess what – Your
baby now can hold stuff on her tiny little fingers”. Instead, I am the one who
reports this kind of news to the interested parties.
Seriously, I
could not be more proud and happier looking at my healthy and happy baby. Being a full-time
Mom is indeed challenging, busy, stressful and etcetera but everything is worth
the pain. The feeling looking at my baby’s smile, especially when her beautiful
eyes meet mine, is surreal.
Confused
The husband
tempts me to get back to work when I am ready. MIL asked me few times on when I
will be back to work. I tell them I don’t know because the truth is I have no
slightest idea about it just yet. I can’t entertain the thoughts of leaving my
baby on someone else’s hands at the moment. Being separated from my baby for a half-day,
the whole day or worse, the whole week is unthinkable. I think I’d get crazy
missing her hair’s smell, longing to carry her tiny body near to my body or kiss her
chubby cheeks. Although, I must say that the
thoughts of having my fixed income and financial independence back are really
lucrative but for the time being, I’d rather be a little poorer as long as I
can make sure that my baby is okay every day.
On another
note, being SAHM sometimes means that we’ve got to be ready to be cooped up in
the house for the whole day doing many things that seem to be endless. Days seems to get by faster. Life can
get a bit boring on certain aspects and I get lonely too. I miss the adult
interactions on most days so if time permits, my baby and I’d spend our whole
afternoon in my MIL’s house. To conclude, I have no concrete plan for future
now. I am just living every moment of my new life as a Mom and I never stop
venturing the opportunities to be able to earn money while mothering my child full
time, hopefully when my baby gets a bit older. One thing for sure, I have no
regret on always being there for my baby.
Yet again,
the above are my personal takes and I am doing what I think I need to do.
Everyone has different situation, values and opinion. Just do what you think is
right for you. Family versus career is always a tricky choice for most women on
the whole planet Earth.
me too... pretty much the same with my daily routine... plus, im doing online business from home which sometimes i tend to be more busy than my hubby coz i work as mother+business woman during the day until night sometimes stay awake at night to finish work and sleep for 2-3 hours only...
ReplyDeleteganbatte!!! keep loving your baby and family... good luck, mommy :)
Thank you!
DeleteI, too, hope to be able to run an online business too one day so I can be around my baby all day long! It's the only way I can think of right now but have yet to be able to materialize anything!
Hope you are coping well too!
i am a stay at home mom to a 9 month old and your routine is just like mine...hehe. it's tiring and sometimes, i get very frustrated but it also makes me happy and i am very satisfied :)
ReplyDeleteand i hear ya... i don't care about what anyone says or thinks about my life and my routine.
Haha.. But you still manage to bake amazing cakes and cookies regularly and blog in detail about them too! You are such a supermom!
Delete