Since I became a Mom, a stay-at-home Mom (SAHM) to be specific, I realize that being a mother is a huge responsibility. Balancing housework and parenting is NOT easy. The role is full time, the learning and work are never ending but I must also say that the reward from seeing my baby all smiling, healthy and happy is priceless.
A dose of baby cuteness is all the parents' need for energy booster.
When it comes to taking care of the house, before I had my baby, I preferred my house or my room to be clean all the time. I am the type who could spot a speck of dust on my desk or a strain of hair on the floor and would immediately clean it after that. However, these days, maintaining a perfectly pristine home with a baby around is kind of unrealistic for me, especially without a helper around. I barely have the time and energy to clean the house any more so sometimes, I just close one eye on the dusty floor or wet toilet in the house.
The only time when I could actually complete my housework peacefully is when my baby is asleep. However, with a light sleeper baby like mine, the pressure in completing my housework is multiplied. I can barely hang my clothes to dry in one shot, wash the dirty dishes at one go, let alone thoroughly clean the house or cooking. Three quarter of my 24 hours, I am wired to attend my baby. By the time I want to continue my pending housework, the sun is already set and my body is so exhausted. Having a good one hour or two without interruption to sit down in front of my laptop and start typing my blog post like now rarely happens. With that, I feel that the husband's active role in helping around the house and with the baby is extremely important.
One proud Papa!
The more I think about how my husband has helped me cope with my new life with our new baby so far, the more I appreciate all the little and simple things that he does for us every single day, such as:
- Preparing breakfast for two when I could not wake up earlier than him because I just had my ‘good-night’ sleep at 4am or 5 am
- Buying me lunch/dinner because I don’t have the time to cook lunch/dinner
- Not scolding me for sleeping in until 9am or 10am after my extended shift with the baby the night before
- Dealing with the baby’s poop and cleaning her bottom when the baby happens to do her deed in front of him
- Taking over the crying baby at 4am when my head starts getting heavier and I am ready to pass out in any second
- Feeding (and burping) the baby at 6am or 7am so I can sleep longer
- Calming and soothing the crying and screaming baby when I fail to do so
- Playing with the baby while I shower
- Holding the baby at night although he himself is tired from work so I can just take my much needed break for a while
- Checking the hot water supply inside the thermos and refilling the hot water whenever it is empty without me asking him to do so
- Attending the baby so I can finish drying the clothes in the drying rack
- Mopping the floor while I sweep the floor (and the baby is asleep)
- Collecting the dirty laundry and throwing them into the washing machine while I am trying to lull the baby to sleep
- Giving me a back massage whenever I moan from my back pain from holding my baby for too long
- And so many more.
My husband patiently talks to our baby when she refuses to sleep.
As a woman, wife and new mother I consider myself very lucky to have a husband who is very involved with baby and doesn't hesitate in assuming the household responsibilities too in spite of his busy and stressful work during the day. Therefore, I just can’t imagine a life with a man who thinks that it’s only mother who is in-charge of the baby and doesn't even bother to lift a finger around the house just because he is the breadwinner.
In conclusion, if you have a problem in sharing the parenting and household responsibilities with your spouse, I guess you’d need to address these matters openly and start developing a plan that would work best for everyone. Let's stop thinking that being a SAHM is easy just because a SAHM doesn't have to go to the office every morning and contribute to the family financially. SAHMs trade in their career for their family and they don’t decide to do this overnight. If you still don’t believe me, I challenge you to live this SAHM role for a week, or better still - a month, and we’ll compare notes after that.