Sunday, March 4, 2012

Becoming A Mother: Are You Afraid?

Becoming a mother indeed makes me feel blessed, happy and excited beyond words especially since I struggled to get pregnant for many months. Pregnancy is indeed a privilege for almost every woman out there.

However, after I got pregnant, often times I do get cold feet about becoming a parent soon. There will be new responsibilities, pressures and changes in my life. I mean changes are good, but they not always easy to get along with in the beginning, are they?

Me and my latest nephew. 
Notice my eye bags even before I experience those sleepless nights yet?

Here are some instances of the things that I fear and ponder in becoming a parent - some stuff that have occasionally been flying around in my head for a while.

  • Giving birth. Normal birth is confirmed to be so painful on all levels, but it promises faster recovery for the mother. Let's not talk about episiotomy just yet when planning to give birth naturally. On the other hand, I heard that C-section is the new 'normal' as its process is relatively faster and painless. However, I can't imagine my tummy being cut open with a sharp knife. Which one to do? I am still thinking.
  • Gaining those extra pounds. Will I be as big as a house when I am very pregnant later? After I give birth, will I ever fit into my skinny jeans, short pants and cute little dresses again? I say never to obesity issues again, ever.
  • Stretch marks. Stretch marks are not pretty. Will my efforts in applying stretch marks lotion on my tummy every day, as soon as my pregnancy hit 8 weeks gestation age, eventually pay off after I give birth?
  • Being confined for a month. You probably know how I despise ginger and some other Chinese herbs so much. I never like them. However, should I follow the postnatal Chinese confinement diet, that means I have to be quarantined at home and only consume lots of traditional Chinese food, soup and tonic brewed with ginger (my number one enemy) and other bitter and smelly Chinese herbs - three times a day, for a month. So hard, right?
  • Breastfeeding. Albeit the fact that breast milk has the optimal nutrition for the baby, I heard the pains during breastfeeding are understatement? True or false? I am so joining the coming breastfeeding seminar in the hospital to find out more about this.
  • Taking care of the baby. I worry of those inevitable sleepless nights which may lead me to postnatal baby blues and surely give me more severe panda eyes and episodes of disequilibrium. I can't be sure either if I could pass the so called mother's physical and emotional strength tests in single-handedly dealing with the baby's endless cries, screams, poops, pukes, excessive saliva, etc. My true colours are recently revealed when I have to deal with crying and puking infants plus screaming, whining and out-of-control (nightmare) toddlers - I pass them over to my husband the soonest possible. I don't quite last 15 minutes in entertaining one kid. My love and affection to (other people's) kids are proven to be not just that deep yet. Hope this law would apply differently when it comes to my own brood.
  • Money and career. Will I still be able to earn money after I have a child? Can I still do what I do now and be financially independent like what I have been in the past five years or so? Being a full-time housewife takes a lot of courage (and dollars too).
  • Relationship with the husband. How is our marriage life going to be after there are not just the two of us in the picture any more? Can I handle the two of you?
  • Privacy, "me time" and freedom. I am not sure if I am ready to wave goodbye to all the privacy, "me time" and freedom which I very much worship as soon as I give birth. Can I still shop, travel, eat and do the stuff I like whenever I feel like doing so after I have the little one following me around?

And the list goes on but that is life, isn't it? 

I mean despite all these alarming fears and bottomless worries, there should be some ways for all mothers (and fathers) to overcome these parental issues, correct? Behind all these potential sorrows coming ahead, there should be some absolute joys of becoming parents on the way too, I believe. I am certain that people associate baby as bundle of joy not for nothing. Furthermore, some people are also in good faith that motherhood is so much fun! That's why some people keep on procreating, I guess. Parenting must really be that fun. Having a child grows you as a person and takes both of you and your partner to a whole another level of (a better) life, so to speak.

What about you? Are (or were) you afraid of becoming a parent?


  1. less blogging, more resting (the sound of the mouse clicking is not good for the baby. heh!) ;)


  2. Christine, you concerns are normal and universal. The fact that you've thought through the processes tells me you will be a wonderful mother. Have a great day. Blessings...Mary


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