This is indeed a very gloomy Saturday. After learning the news of my uncle's passing yesterday evening, I was so devastated and apprehensive. I could not sleep well last night thinking about my late uncle and the family that he left behind. I am gravely sorry for my Third Auntie, cousins and baby Jennifer back home for my uncle's demise.
Heartbreaking and tearful: My Uncle's death declaration letter from the Doctor
All of sudden, my mind is so full of the flashbacks of my Uncle's life. His face, his patience, his voice when he answered the phone, the way he walked, the memory of him visiting my house to borrow my Dad's motorbike and the last one was the moment when he talked to my husband and me on my husband's first visit to Indonesia. That was the very last time we both saw him was still able to walk and talk although his body and mind's condition had already deteriorating. He was a good man, father, husband, grandfather and friend; known best for his patience, and will be reminisced as so.
We were not so close due to his reserved and quiet dispositions. He hardly attended family events either, hence I do not really have a photo of him. Notwithstanding, I still feel so regretful of his departure. I am remorseful for the fact that I didn't really pay him a visit when he was lying in his bed during my frequent visits to his house. My auntie always told me that he was already asleep so I thought of not bothering him. I should have, at least, just checked him out personally.
Like everyone else does, I have a slight disappointment of his sudden passing yesterday. After being treated in the hospital for about a week, my Uncle got better and my Auntie finally brought him home at about 11am yesterday. No one ever thought that she brought him home just for him to go forever in the very evening. Just after taking in two spoons of his last meal, he drew his last breath surrounded by his loved ones at his beloved place.
Indeed, man proposes, God disposes.
I had a chance to speak to my Auntie this morning to give my sympathies and after our conversation, I felt a little bit of consolation to understand that she is now coping with her loss all right. She had let him go. My cousin who is still sailing around the world will be flying back to Indonesia from Boston to see his Dad for the last time. I do hope he reaches home safe and sound on next Monday. My heart breaks whenever I imagine him coming home just to find his lifeless father at the funeral home.
Sometimes I hate being so far away from my family. I cannot always be physically there for them, primarily when sorry things happen.
My deepest, heartfelt condolences go to my Auntie, cousins and Baby Jennifer back home.
RIP Ko Tiu Lau Wu.
~Ecclesiastes 9: 5-6 ~