Saturday, October 8, 2011

Marriage Two Cents from the Priest: How to Keep A Lasting Marriage

It's really been a while since I went to church, worshiped and listened to preaches. I miss all of them.

When my husband told me that he'd be taking me to attend his friends' Holy Matrimony at Church of the Visitation Seremban this morning, I was happy. I looked forward to attend it.

My husband and I attending Alex and Sabrina's Holy Matrimony.

Alex and Sabrina's Celebration of Holy Matrimony today went smoothly, on-time and was very meaningful. I got sentimental when they exchanged vows and deep inside my heart, I wished my husband and I also had our holy matrimony in church too. But, unfortunately, we could not.

Anyhow, the priest's homily at Alex and Sabrina's Holy Matrimony was about how to keep a lasting marriage. Since I didn't go to any marriage preparation classes before I said "I do" to my husband, I opened my ears and heart to every word the priest said today.

The priest's homily at Alex and Sabrina's Holy Matrimony today.

The priest mentioned that he had counselled many married couples who could not keep their marriage together. He learned that there are basically two key reasons that married couples have to apply to keep their love alive, regardless of their religion or race.

1. Communication

The priest said that married couple must have and maintain good communication with each other. They need to talk to each other often and keep no secret from each other. They must know how to comfort their spouse when he or she is feeling hurt. Little details in the marriage have to be openly discussed with our husband or wife including the number of the children they plan or finance issues, for instance. If there is no good communication between husband and wife, there is possibility that love will drift apart; hence, it is not impossible that he or she finds someone else as a partner. So, communicate as much as possible with our spouse.

2. Interference from Parents or Parents-in-Law

Another thing that commonly creates frictions in marriage is parents (in-law)' involvements in the a couple's marriage. Some couples tend to seek advice from their parents - whilst this might be helpful but it may backfire. Also, parents are not suppose to interfere their children's marriage life nor household. They should leave them alone. If their children really need advice from them then it's wise for the parents to give fair advice; however, when the kids do not need such advice, they better not try to resolve any marriage issues of the children. It is simply because their married children are already grown-ups.

Indeed, parenting has no manuals and everything comes from experience. And so does marriage. Thus, parents must give independence for their children to run their married life and household. Marriage is between a man (husband) and a woman (wife). Marriage is not a husband or wife tying the knot with one of the parents-in-law. After he said this, I came to realize what my best friend, Astrid, once said to me; it is advisable if married couple live under different roof from their parents so they can be independent in solving all the problems in their married life. Makes sense!

When the priest led the Rite of Marriage for Alex and Sabrina, I was so moved by it. Before the Church wedded them, the priest asked them to state their intentions in marriage and promised few things such as: (1) To come to church freely and without reservations in order to give each self to each other in marriage (2) To love and honor each other as husband and wife for the rest of their lives (3) To accept children lovingly from God and bring them up according to the law of Christ and His Church. And these are the real duties of (Christian) marriage.

After that, Alex and Sabrina exchanged vows and exchange of rings, as the sign of love and fidelity.

The blissful newlyweds: Alex and Sabrina! 
Have a happy marriage ahead.

And now, we got newlyweds in town. Congratulations to Alex and Sabrina!

Group photo (1) with the newlyweds and friends.
Photo credit by Wong Seng Teck.

Group photo (2) with friends.
Photo credit by Wong Seng Teck.

We'll see you both again at your wedding dinner reception tonight.

"What God has joined together, men must not divide."


  1. Marriage is so sacred isnt it? The moment you change the way you address your boyfriend to husband, so sweet =)

  2. good for u, my father in law passed away this week and its been a sad week for me

  3. @Veronica - Yes, it is!!

    @Brocade Blue - Sorry to hear the passing of your Father-in-Law. My deepest condolences.


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