Sunday, October 17, 2010

江山易改, 本性难移

江山易改, 本性难移
jiāng shān yì gǎi,běn xìng nán yí

Snow leopard.

This Chinese idiom means "It is easy to change rivers and mountains, but hard to alter one's nature". Or in other translation, it can also mean "A leopard can't change its spots". From a free dictionary in the internet, this idiom means that a person's character, especially if it is bad, will not change even if he or she pretends it has.

My husband texted me this line when we were not in our best mood last weekend. We fought over the same thing. Well, I made him angry over the same thing, to be exact. Unreasonable jealousy and over-control. Somehow, I am always the one who pick the fight between us. I like to test his love on me. And when he really can't take it anymore and is finally really angry, I get so scared. I apologize and promise him to change. Over and over again.

This happens repeatedly. Although deep inside I seriously dread for the worst consequences from him (one day), I still do the pattern. Again and again. I never change.

Will I not change?

*Photo randomly taken from the internet since I never took a photo of a leopard, although I saw one in a zoo I think.

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